My experience of Hedy Schleifer
as
an Instructor in my Clinical Imago Training
Adelheid Oesch
Towards the end of my training, Hedy
quoted: “Every once in a while someone enters your life
and leaves footprints in your soul”. To me, training with
Hedy has this unforgettable impact and quality. She awakens and
reveals hidden or dormant paths in her students, in the couples
who train or do her workshops. A path that will remain a vivid
experience, as well as an inner blue print, throughout my personal
and professional life.
Hedy has the gift of great Teachers.
That is, not only precise knowledge of her trade... as precise
as the tools of an eye surgeon.., but also what makes of craft
an art, the capacity to transmute matter into spirit, concept
into living practice, into contagious inspiration. Laws of marriage
becoming songs of love.
Hedy has so integrated every aspect
of “Imago Relationship Therapy”: theory, applications,
deeper meanings and spiritual implications, that with her, ways
of teaching are ways of being One can feel no hard thinking, fears
and sweaty preparations.., which are initially the lot of all
teachers... the minute she stands amidst her group of students.
There is lightness and laughter, wings at her hands, words, feet...
So, very fast, you grow wings yourself!
I experienced her teaching as flowing
wit instantaneous insight. Insight of my, and our Quest and questions,
as students and practitioner’s, but also as human beings,
in our personal struggles in relationship. Her level of knowledge,
clarity of mind.., blended wit unfailing intuition, carried by
her loving enthusiasm and commitment, have been for me a Unique
Journey. These qualities of her teaching and personality all in
one, have turned my Imago Training into a feasting, rather than
an exerting effort. And these are no vain words, for I myself
have a pretty long experience of life’s wonders and trials,
teachers and trainings... being 63, mother of four, long time
divorced, and now transformed into an experienced human growth
facilitator, specialized in Voice Dialogue.
Hedy knows well, tat what we do not
learn in flesh, bone and blood, in heart, spirit and body, doesn’t
hold... cannot be remembered, nor taken, nor received, nor believed,
by clients, students, or partners, in any lasting way.... will
not be trustworthy in this so difficult art of arts called relationship.
As an Instructor, she leads us to a high quality of understanding
of what is at stake in relationship, using every bit of example
through our interactions as a group. So this became truly for
me an experience of remembering in the basic sense, of reassembling
and reviving scattered fleshless bones. These bones of broken
relationship and around them the flesh of a vibrant alive linkage,
this glowing current that makes relationship sacred and blissful
above all else.
I not only heard, brilliantly exposed,
what I needed to learn of the Imago processes, in order to reach
Certification as an Imago Clinical Member. I learned what only
the inner fire can transmit... recognition of this same fire in
my own heart. Hedy conveyed to me, and to us all I believe, in
the measure of our commitment, the feel of our own deep humanity.
A learning not only from her, but from everyone present, as well
as from my own deeper self... this, I believe, are the ingredients
of the great Teacher she is: revealing Inner Wisdom in every Apprentice.
It is the art of shedding light.., of kindling the fire of that
which yearns to be lived in everyone of us.
The reverse may also be true... a loving committed Student will
bring forth the art of teaching in all and everyone he meets.
And so these mutual gifts never get lost. They are fruitful and
multiply... as the Holy Scripture orders and promises.
Training with Hedy and Yumi, for I
cannot separate them in this Venture, was really couple work,
in the spiritual… and in the incarnated everyday…
sense of the word. The opportunity for deeper consciousness in
relationship was constantly called forth by both during the course.
Every happening was used in service of a here and now quality
of relating, through all manners of exercises, in particular Couple
Dialogues and Containment circles. I experienced time and time
again, how 1-Iedy excels in leading us students, with tender and
playful authority, through the process of mirroring and validating
whatever comes up. And this as long as necessary to bring in full
expression and understanding... so healing, with mirroring alone,
the broken or damaged link of insight and love between two persons.
What a relief to discover that disputing, being right... proving
the other wrong... insisting in solving year long unsolvable problems
by winning the battle.., proves unnecessary! The dissolving of
it all by itself... when hearts link again through the process.
What great savings in time, failures, sweat and pain!
This I learned and believed, because
Hedy threw us, with professional skill and strictness, into the
merciless waves of exercising Imago amongst us, and subsequently
in our homes and Practices as therapists. But I also learned it,
by witnessing in awe, how a couple formed by two persons so eminently
diverse from each other as Hedy and Yumi, can not only survive,
but become the living proof that... yes... Imago can and does
work. This, last but not least, was constantly enriched by the
so touching an respect inspiring relationship and collaboration
between them. Therapist and Engineer.. Live teaching! They both
never hesitated to go first. With deep honesty, risk taking and
love, they have illustrated in the group how selfless mirroring
flowing tenderness and tolerance are possible, even after decades
of marriage...
They give a convincing example of the importance of a willingness
to expose personal limits and do the work I The work it takes,
for two people as different as can be... a 100% turtle minimizer,
with a 100% hailstorm maximizer... a 100% man, with a 100% woman...
to create, tend, and always clean anew, this sacred space in which
they are a couple. A holy space of union, where neither is denying
his own uniqueness. This has been to me a fascinating and hope
inspiring model. It has also deeply touched me, to see how they
supported and enhanced each other in every smallest aspect of
relating and teaching, so creating this Credible and incredible
School for relationship.
Training with Hedy Schleifer shows
now to be a wonderful enrichment in my personal life and in my
work. To me Hedy Schleifer is all I can wish for in a Teacher:
knowledge, professional expertise, experience of life, and what
is more rare. . . the generosity to share it... the flame to pass
it on... the gift to ignite it in others.
With love and gratitude
Adelheid Oesch
Lausanne, Switzerland, July 28th
2003
